A few weeks ago, I toured my old blog…the XANGA…which I kept my entire freshman year and the first half of my sophomore year. Many things stood out to me, most notably the mountains of Vintage CD material I documented there. But then there was this post, written September 26th, 2006. It was only a year after the most difficult period of my life, and as it was written here, I can call this time the most exciting time of my 21.5 years so far. As I reread this post, I rediscovered the raw excitement I had for life back in the early stages of my sophomore year…particularly the next to last paragraph. This raw excitement is my goal for my senior year of college. Everything from my freshman to sophomore year changed, and that radical change radically affected my outlook on life. Do I have to undergo such a metamorphises this year to find that excitement again? Perhaps so, and what that change would look like escapes me at this point. For now, I read this post again and remind myself and everyone out there that one of the key successes to life is to seek change and keep things new.
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September 26, 2006
Well usually my blog posts are daily commentaries on the Vintage Song of the Day. Then once and a while you get a profile about a new Vintage CD (XXXII debuts Friday!). But tonight I just want to ramble a little bit about my life because there are so many things going on…it’s so exciting!!! I’ve never been more excited about my life. Ever.
I’ll start with tonight. I do the weekly newsletter for the UK Baptist Campus Ministry (director of In-House Communications as it is), and tonight I’m working on The Prophet, as it is, and the copy machine goes psycho on me. Well this has happened before, but tonight it went really psycho…it pretty much self-destructed. So there I am, fighting the darn thing for a full hour, trying to get the other side of The Prophet printed, and I’m having absolutely zero success at it. I finally give up, and I am really ticked and flustered at the whole thing because I hate not being able to do my job. If I can do it, I will do it. But I’m sweating under the collar, my heart is racing a million miles an hour, and I’m really mad at the world. So then TNT (our worship service) starts, and I’m not really in the best frame of mind to worship God. But He got my attention immediately. I was looking over my newsletter in my seat when I turned to the back. Of course, there wasn’t anything on there because of the stupid copier, but I realized something: it was blank. And something clicked. I have a blank slate, every day, every moment. When I sin, I can ask for forgiveness, and my sheet can become blank again. WHAT AN AWESOME FEELING! The latin for blank slate is tabula rasa (I know that from History 105, not just off the top of my head). Our lives are defined by tabula rasa. “Every day’s a new day” sings John Ondrasik in a pretty good song called “100 Years.” No matter what we do, no matter what mistakes we made in the past, they play no effect on what’s going on now. That is so awesome.
Tonight’s TNT turned out to be one of the best TNTs of all time, if not the best. Funny how these things work out. So after TNT ends, I head for killer pong. If you don’t know what killer pong is, well you should. Ask me about it sometime. So I’m getting pretty good at killer pong I must say. The intensity of the games has increased markedly since I re-introduced the killer pong rankings last week, and everybody is excited about it. I have this little Excel program that does the math…it’s great. So we start playing, and there’s about 10-12 guys in there playing, and it was fantastic. We all start commentating on the play because I do that sometimes and everyone loves it. So everyone’s getting excited, and I hit this totally wonderful wall shot back on the table, and the place goes bananas. And I yell out this scream, this wild war cry…it was slightly unnecessary, but I was just feeling really good at that point. I don’t show a lot of emotion, but in cases like that, I’ll show it. Wow, I LOVE KILLER PONG!
But just overall, I feel a lot better as a person. What a long way I have come in the last year in every facet of my life (except perhaps physically, I’m still the pudgy, patsy, unathletic white boy that I’ve always been). I can feel myself becoming a better leader. I’m really forming friendships that are going to last a lifetime. I’m getting more involved this year besides all the BCM activities. I’m going to Calvary Baptist on Wednesday nights for a weekly bible study; I go to Comedy Caravan each week; and tomorrow, I’m gonna start volunteering at Bryan Station Middle School helping tutor middle school students. I’m eating more with my friends rather than by myself in my room; I’m actually working on campus as a computer lab consultant; and of course UK hockey is still there (haha, in a word, lovely). But life is exciting because of only one reason, and that’s God. He’s blessed me so much throughout my life. I have a wonderful mom and dad, a great sister, cousins that I’ve grown up with, two grandparents who I can’t imagine life without, uncles and aunts, many great friends, fantastic memories, and one big life experience that helped me grow wildly as a person. I also have two friends at home that I miss a lot. Fisher and Will might be stupid, but they are as good a two dogs as anyone in the world has. I am so blessed. Life is so exciting, and I hope you feel that way too.
This weekend is Fall Focus in Louisville, which is pretty much a big statewide convention for the college Baptist kids (except me, I’m Methodist technically). I have a feeling that something awfully exciting is gonna happen this weekend, and I haven’t the slightest idea what it’s gonna be. I feel that God has been preparing my heart for it, and I cannot wait for Friday afternoon when we head over to Louisville. Haha, now I have to study because I still have classes, despite having only 12 hours (perhaps that’s the source of my happiness, but I doubt it’s all of it). Good night all.
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Habakkuk 1:5b — For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it (Methodist translation).
I feel the key to finding a great Closing Song to my college career is accepting and thriving in this verse…realizing that this year will not be as predictable as the last and opening myself up to new adventures the way I did two years ago. Perhaps now, the purpose of my summer. Two summers ago, I spent the vast majority at home, not particulary waiting for the year to start but certainly not enjoying the fact I was home and doing nothing. But I had time to breathe, to gear up, to prepare myself for the changes that would be occuring soon. Last summer, I had no such opportunity as I spent every ounce of myself on Passportkids and went straight into my junior year. Now this summer, and the waiting game has been on since May 3rd in many respects. Nights, and Benthoughts, like these help me gear up for what Habakkuk promises will be ahead. What’s God doing and preparing me for in the fall, and the spring, and beyond? It’s an exciting question to ask, and one I’m willing to explore in order to recapture the excitement which saturated my life not quite two years ago.
